Have you ever been devastated after attempting to achieve something
and you did not reach the desire result?
This topic comes from an inspiring advocate whose passion is to help others create a business and life they love – Marie Forleo. She recently had a guest on her segment, MarieTV, to discuss tools for getting over failure. As some of you may know, I truly believe the language you use impacts your immediate state and overall emotions. So what some people call failure, I like to think of as feedback (here’s an overview of my rationale).
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming! So in this episode, Marie Forleo’s guest was Dr. Cathy Collautt, a consultant who combines her expertise in traditional and non–traditional therapies to help clients resolve blocks and empower them to execute their highest potential. Sounds pretty phenomenal, right? That’s why I’m sharing her summary of 4 steps to overcoming obstacles because when you live life fully, there will be hurdles!
Make it a MUST
You must learn to deal with setbacks, especially if you’re going to try new things It is a necessity. By choosing to create a live a life worth living, you are also inviting the experiences of setbacks. Therefore, it’s essential find a way to deal with setbacks in a healthy way and regain confidence when it is lost, hiding in the bushes and just plain ol’ nowhere to be found! It is going to happen, so make it a must to learn to deal with them.
Recognize Success and Failure on the same path
Before you’ve actually done something, always, you either 1) cannot do it yet or 2) have not proven that you can do whatever it is. This is true every single time before that actual moment when you do accomplish it.
So all of those attempts before actually doing it could be considered setbacks or feedback! Or not – it’s largely based on how you choose to interpret the action and result. It is your response that will keep you striving for the success if you are motivated and have a constructive inner dialogue while you strive to reach a goal.
While we cannot control the outcome of a desired result, we can control doing the best we can with the tools we have. If for some reason, that wasn’t the case in this situation, then learn from it and determine what you could do differently going forward. Remember: success and failure are not two different roads.
Celebrate the Effort, not the Result
Specifically, Dr. Cathy Collautt says “applaud yourself to the extent that you got into the ring instead of sitting on the sideline.” Note that one of the components is the degree or extent with which you put forth the effort.
If you only minimally put in effort, would you really expect maximum results? Don’t get me wrong – I know you’re good, but just like raising a pint of beer doesn’t count as lifting weights, your return is often directly proportionate to the investment and commitment to the initiative.
Most importantly, regardless of the amount of effort – you took a step! Congratulate yourself – truly acknowledge the win for making a choice and taking the risk. That is living!
Confine your Conclusions
Rather than making this outcome global and looking at it from every aspect of your life, it’s important to recognize that the outcome was specific to this particular experiment, this attempt, the iteration. What often happens is that we begin to extend this setback into other areas of our life and generalize that if x, then y. The two are not necessarily correlated.
While there is a natural reaction to begin questioning related aspects of your life, it is up to you to notice this pattern and create a different response. It’s very easy to get stuck spiraling in this moment and crucial to recognize this behavior, limiting your analysis to this specific iteration.
Just because you didn’t yet, doesn’t mean you can’t. – Dr. Cathy Collautt
Instead of sitting on the sidelines and playing it safe, will you choose to engage in the game of life? You’ve got the tools to take the risk and the world needs that special gift only you have to offer!
~ Health, Happiness and Prosperity ~